What exactly is Empty Nest Syndrome? It’s the grief, sadness, and loneliness that many parents feel after their children move out of the house. It is not a clinical diagnosis, but a set of complicated emotions many parents feel once their adult children move out of the family homes to make a future for themselves. These feelings of the parents are often unrecognized because children moving out of the house is seen as a normal, healthy event.
However, here I am not talking about human children, but foster animals. Recently I had fostered a 2-month-old kitten for a week. It was my first experience with a cat as I have always fostered injured or ill puppies. Little did I know, this experience was so heart warming yet so distressful.
On the first day, the kitten was scared and bottle fed. But in no time, that little boy got so comfortable in my house and with Junior and me, that it never felt as if he had just come in yesterday. Since I had no experience with cats before, I was surprised to comprehend that kittens are more or less like puppies.
He was filled with energy, hopping around, biting on wires and furniture, and most importantly – those beautiful puppy cat eyes. By day 3 he had started jumping on beds, he had started grabbing on my pants and climbing all over me, he had started meowing for attention, he was roaming around in the house as if he knew the place from years. He slept with me on my bed every night the entire week. Infact, he wouldn’t sleep without me.
I know this would sound normal to a cat parent. But for me, it reminded me of Casper and Junior’s puppy days. This kitten was a replica of my dog’s childhood. He activated the sleeping motherly feelings in me. And that is the reason why I cannot quite cope with his absence now.
The kitten is gone to his owner’s house. And my house feels empty now. Junior is a senior dog. And has been through life threatening illnesses in the past 2 years. We didn’t have long playing sessions or that energy level for a long time now. We were doing just fine before the kitten came in. During the kitten’s stay, I did get very tired living up to the little one’s energy, and so did Junior as the kitten wanted to play with him. And after the kitten, I feel like a big void within me. Junior too kept sniffing the whole house in search of the kitten.
The kitten’s owner offered to adopt him, but due to unavoidable circumstances, I am in no position to get another pet, be it a cat or a dog. Even though I was so tempted to face the circumstances and adopt the kitten, I am in a very unfavorable position to give justice to the feline.
I am going through an Empty Nest Syndrome. I feel my son has left his home for a better future. Even though I know the kitten is in a very good place right now, I feel immense sadness. This made me realise one thing, I am not capable of fostering animals. I get too attached.
Today when I was expressing my helplessness to my Mom about not being able to adopt the kitten, she told me one thing, “you should feel lucky and happy that you got the opportunity to serve that little soul. Maybe that was exactly what was needed for him at that time.” These words somehow put me at ease. Now I am trying to get comfortable with my routine that I had before the kitten. And since my motherly feelings are activated right now, I am being more clingy to Junior…..ha ha ha!
I know I will take sometime to come cope with the Empty Nest Syndrome, the feeling of “letting go”, the temporary loss of purpose, those beautiful kitty eyes, the warmth of the little brat sleeping next to me (Junior cannot climb on the bed, so he sleeps on his bed on the floor), the meowing voice, the following me everywhere, the climbing on me from my foot up till my shoulder, and I can keep going on.
But I am glad that in my lifetime, I got an opportunity to experience having a cat. I was never a cat person, had this kitten not come to me, I would have never understood how loving even cats could be. Everything happens for a reason.
